Blowing Wonder Woman 2017
I’m bored. So, I make weird posts.
Awright, so people think Wonder Woman was better than BvS and the ones who put this children’s fairy tale as highly sophisticated often speak crass about films like Pirates 5 or Transformers-The last Knight. The way I see it, they all belong to the same badly written category. My rating, altho I don’t remember, is something like this-
Batman Vs Superman- 6.5/10, Pirates 5- 5/10,
Wonder Woman- 6/10, Transformers-tlk-6.6/10, The Mummy- 6.5/10, Kong:Skull island-6/10.
See, my rating is mostly based on the work of the story. I don’t give a crap about how good your actor looks or if it’s great graphics blow your juvenile mind. Let’s talk about.
BvS- PEOPLE HATE IT. WHY? Simple, people are bored of seriously made superheroes. That’s all. BvS ties all its loose ends perfectly in its own plot. The reason of me giving just 6.5 is becoz it tried to overachieve and simplify too much. It obviously had dialog problems, may be due to editing or may be the director took it lightly.
Pirates 5- Good starting. Followed by too many cliches and coincidences, drives it all into crap.
The Mummy- Reasonable story, falls into the trap of creating long franchise and drove people away. Because of its low budget, the action and the creature don’t even give the feel of a mummy film. But yes, it ties up the story.
Kong- This was real low ball. A creature feature that does too much comedy, doesn’t have much reason in plot. And also falls in the franchise making trap. It’s not bad writing, but not very good either.
Transformers- While, in Transformers, multiple threads run, with comedy but never tries to shove comedy in ur mouth. It’s serious enough about an earth shattering event. All the threads join smoothly at the end, leaving no ends loose. Although, the actions seem juvenile, but since it’s a film about characters who were originally action figures, I can’t really complain.
Now you might be asking why do I give Transformers, BvS and The Mummy more than Wonder Woman! Well, it’s not so simple. There are too many reasons. Let’s try to get them.
1.Loose ends- WW never specified what her origin was. Too many threads about her origin- is she an amazon, is she a goddess? or is she a clay doll? The story suggests all of them…but what is she? The story bases itself on her origin and never answers specifically. Becuz, if she’s a goddess, she may not be the clay doll comics say she is.
2. Villain- WW has the shallowest villain I’ve seen this year. A villain is supposed to do something that indirectly/directly affects the hero and provokes them to act. That does happen in Act 1, but in act 3, the hero has lost. The hero is broken and can’t go on anymore. The villain then sneaks in from behind. Instead of using her, he tells her all about her plan-MASSIVE EXPOSITION. He even tells her that ONLY SHE can KILL HIM. THAT IS SO FUCKING STUPID!
In writing, when the hero is given an unforeseen/miraculous advantage like this, it’s called either GOD’S HAND or IDIOT WRITING. So, you decide what it is.
3. WONDERful cliches-
a. How do amazons die? It’s shown that they can be killed by a bullet, but then a ship full of armed men somehow got all killed by girls with arrows. Those were the times of machine guns. It shoulda been a blood bath right there. Another problem is that if they can be killed by bullet, how can Gal Gadot climb a tower by breaking rocks with fingers. The whole physicality poses some problem there.
b. They take Steve hostage at the island and then give him a private chamber with a spa bath tub, so that Diana can see him naked and it produces and awkward comedy. Shouldn’t a prisoner be in a cell?
c.In the end, it’s revealed that she’s goddess and somehow she gains all powers of zeus. Why didn’t she have the power of PIKACHU ever before that? Really, why didn’t she have any power before that? Even Man of steel movie took its time to setup the characters abilities. But the WW movie relies heavily upon shock value rather than writing.
d. What’s the distance between the FRONT, the VILLAGE and the GERMAN BALL DANCE CASTLE? The germans lost their front and were partying just the other day? Seriously? The Indian chief guy goes about the jungle and brings back a car? Really? The castle then bombs the village by a cannon, Diana travels to that place and comes back to kill the commander by night. So the question is why were the German having a party so much close to a warfront, that’s all unguarded and anyone can travel upto here on a horse within a day?
This movie is full of cliches and critics have the balls to put it at 92%. It’s at best a 60% film. That’s why I say Rotten Tomatoes is full of pussies nowadays.
Bye …for now.