Sexual Harasser Anda-Man
And now our regular comedic interview of Professor Anda-Man by our host Chuulmaan Khan.
Chuulmaan: Welcome back to yet another episode of our show, where we interview 15 times Nobel prize nominee(never won any), Professor Anda-Man. Today’s topic is…because of high trending shitstorms, SEXUAL HARASSMENT. Professor?
Anda-Man: Uhh!….What? Can’t you see I’m sending harassing messages?
Chuulmaan: But Sir! Haven’t you heard? So many gurus in every field is getting called out on sexual harassment cases! What if you get caught?
Anda-Man: Sonny, I am a scientist. I am a genius. Those pigs can’t touch THIS PIG!
Chuulmaan: Really? So is there a special immunity from law for scientists? I’m confused!
Anda-Man: What? Law? Law is for dumb people who have an imagination that the world works for justice. Justice itself is social imagination. If a shark bites off your leg, good luck getting the shark on trial. But I! I’m a scientist, I know the truth! That’s why I have this!
Chuulmaan: Oh! What’s that?
Anda-Man: This, my boy, is my memory erasing stick. And I personally recommend every sexual harasser to get one! Once you’re done, just ZAP! The person, male or female doesn’t remember crap!
You said something sexist to coworker? ZAP! She doesn’t remember crap!
You did something horrible to someone? Zap! Nobody remembers crap! Cause I AM A GENIUS!
Chuulmaan: But sir, wouldn’t it be nice that men just stop sexually harassing children and women, instead of these scientific inventions?
Anda-Man: Boy! What did I say? Nature does not know justice. Sexual crimes are the most ancient crimes of humanity! It’s nothing but social dynamics that change. All it does is criminalise a few people but the real problem is in the human gene. It’s the fact that ultimately, humans are animals. If stupid trending patterns on the internet can completely abolish it , I’ll personally give my memory eraser to YOU!
Chuulmaan: Wow! Really? O-BOY!O-BOY! My personal memory eraser! Uhh…….ubbbb…..sorry, I mean…..that’s really shameful, sir! We’ll have to conclude the show now!
Psst….sir! Can I borrow that for just today?(whispers)
We’ll be back with more next time, this is Chuulmaan signing off. . Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
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